A new start

The last couple of years have been quite the ride.  2009 was a year that seemed too good to be true and I got to explore more of the outdoors than I ever imagined: waking up in a tent (love the feel of that chill), a fair number of summits (how lucky does a person get?!?!), and many nice road trips.  2010 really challenged me.  In the last week things seem to finally have come back together a little again and I'm feeling like I am exactly where I was two years ago: accepting that some thing I've wished for in my life may never happen, but feeling content.  I've made it a plan to do things I enjoy - travel, go camping, enjoy the pathways around the city, and not let work take over.  Have breakfast on the balcony, go for bike rides, take a class, renovate.  I am putting the adoption thing on the back burner.  Most recently I had looked into Russia (where they allow single women to adopt) and the process can be completed in under a year.  One girl in particular had grabbed my attention as her baby photo instantly reminded me of one of my own baby photos.  Most children are older, but she is a little one that's out there and is so, so adorable.  Victoria has been diagnosed with HIV.  I've realized that, even though it's rewarding, I cannot always take care of sick people.  I need to first and foremost take care of myself now.  And so I've decided to just let life take its course.  If they tell me in ten months that they want to yank out some of my organs, I'll let them.  At least I'll be alive.  2011 has got to be a a year for better things.  I'm itching for more creativity, so my latest idea is that maybe - just maybe - when I'd quite my real job I could run a little B&B.  I've been itching to move, so maybe a house with extra bedrooms would allow that.  I would enjoy decorating a new place, and I'm intrigued by doing something that would also give me more flexibility.  It's time to explore and to live! :-)